


this ain't impossible, this ain't improbable

by rainbowrabblerouser



Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [10]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Assassin Jaskier | Dandelion, Established Relationship, Geralt Has A Journal, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia-centric, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Secrets, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Spy Jaskier | Dandelion, literally google it, that is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser
Summary: Jaskier casually tells his lover that he has killed thousands. Geralt needs to know more.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: written because I'm lonely, melancholic, gay, yearning, aching, and pining and– [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712041
Comments: 4
Kudos: 289





	this ain't impossible, this ain't improbable

**Author's Note:**

> title from: "I'm Your Daddy" - Weezer
> 
> based on canon: Jaskier is an intelligence agent for kings. He's an actual spy.

Jaskier definitely has a shit-ton of secrets that he keeps from Geralt.

Seriously, there is always some random throwaway line that confuses the fuck out of him. Fun facts like how Jaskier was actually an intelligence agent, a spy, for kings. Because he just could. And it was a normal thing that had been going on for so long that Jaskier had forgotten to mention it to Geralt. That wasn’t even the worst secret.

“I have killed many men. And I honestly have lost count.”

“I am banned from a good fourth of the areas on the map.”

“My lute strap has a mini-knife in it.”

“I actually got distracted when I first met you because I usually top, but when I saw you, I thought: man, I have never wanted to fuck a dick so hard–”

“Jaskier.”

“What?”

They were just trying to have a nice date for once and of course, Jaskier had to always make things....interesting for Geralt. It was Geralt’s turn to plan the date, and he had taken Jaskier to a beautiful meadow with so many colorful flowers and enough trees for shade so they could have a picnic. What Geralt had neglected to realize was that Jaskier would, of course, spend most of the date talking and not appreciating their alone time together and the beauty of nature.

After more than two decades together, Jaskier still remained a mystery to Geralt. And after they started whatever you would call their relationship, it got even more confusing from there. There was so much Geralt wanted to know, but he had no idea where to start. Jaskier’s home? His life before him? What he’s capable of besides his singing?

An endless list.

So Geralt starts writing everything down in the journal that Jaskier had gifted him when he realized that Geralt needed an outlet of sorts in which he could express his feelings that weren’t his attraction to Jaskier. Even then, it was still mostly about Jaskier.

The leather-bound book was full of Geralt’s surprisingly fancy cursive, which looked so much better than Jaskier’s rushed scrawl. The thing about them is that Geralt actually spends time thinking through his words and exactly what he wanted to put on the page, while Jaskier’s mind raced and moved faster than his hand, thus the chicken scratch that he called his handwriting. 

Geralt’s journal was filled with mostly doodles of Jaskier and flowers, observations and lyrics of Jaskier, and ever-growing lists of what he wanted to know about Jaskier. 

So he guessed that he was not using the journal for its intended non-Jaskier purpose, but Jaskier didn’t need to know that. He had never even seen a page of his writing. He was oblivious to Geralt’s curiosity, so he was blind to any revelation that Geralt was in fact dying to know anything and everything about him.

“Why have you killed men?”

“Because I was an assassin. Barding is just a cover, but I ended up doing it full-time because it was more fun. Also, you do all the killing for the both of us. Wouldn’t want to steal your thunder, darling,” Jaskier drawled with a wink.

“I don’t believe you, but all right.”

Then, when Jaskier kept elaborating about a few notable anecdotes in which he had to smash a man’s head in with his lute and then inject poisonous ink with his favorite quill, Geralt realized that he was not messing with him. Jaskier was a fucking murderer.

Well, so was Geralt, but that was his thing! Now, they were on an even playing field. And Geralt realized that Jaskier wasn’t always cowering in the face of monsters and hiding behind Geralt because he was afraid and incapable; he was just fucking lazy.

“So this whole time, I didn’t have to always watch both of our backs in fear that you would get taken away from me?” Geralt puts a hand to the bridge of his nose.

“No, not the whole time. You did have to save me from the magical stuff. I mostly killed regular human men who had either been predatory to children, women, and other royalty. Also, I had a strict rule in which I only killed people and things that couldn’t spit acid at me.”

When Geralt raises an eyebrow, Jaskier continues, “There was an incident with my new doublet on my birthday. It was very messy for the poor creature after I got my hands on it. Very, very ugly.”

Jaskier picks a random flower. It’s bright yellow. A buttercup. He puts it in Geralt’s hair.

Geralt picks up some dandelions and gives one to Jaskier. 

When they blow them and make wishes, Geralt wishes that he could know more about Jaskier and get some semblance of decent answers that he could believe. 

Jaskier just tackles him and showers him with kisses all over his face and neck.

Geralt closes his eyes and enjoys the moment. 

-

Later, when they’re in the bed in an inn, Jaskier starts again.

“Once, I got run out of a kingdom by an angry mob. From an orgy. I was supposed to kill them all, but I wanted to join in on the fun.”

“The other day, I set all of the horses free from that farm we passed by while you were busy talking to the farmer about buying food.”

“Then, I poisoned the entire banquet hall and then walked out with all of their jewels.”

“Bullshit,” Geralt says with a sigh. He runs his hands through Jaskier’s locks, a habit he had developed when he wanted to tease him and feel how soft it was. 

“Nope, all true! I think I still have some jewels. Oh, and the vial I used to release the poison! It was a very nice bottle!”

Geralt rolled his eyes. What the fuck?

“Those horses were probably in good care.”

“I saw him hit them.”

“Oh, all right.”

Jaskier dozes off soon enough and Geralt is left alone to his thoughts in the darkness. He wraps his arms around Jaskier and holds him close as Jaskier buries his face in his neck as he usually did. Geralt ran his hands through his hair, shocked that someone so soft could have such a hardcore past. 

He knew that Jaskier could handle himself very well alone, but still, he was here with him. Following Geralt around like a lovesick boy, like some foolish young lover who had fallen in love with the ever blowing wind and followed it everywhere, not caring if he got lost and never found his way back home. 

Geralt felt like he was at home with Jaskier no matter where they were. It was just such a strange revelation to learn that the man you have been sleeping with has not only harmed more people than you could ever imagine he could, but also killed so many evil-doers that he had lost track of the number. 

When he eventually falls asleep, he kisses Jaskier on the forehead and drifts off to dream about endless meadows with Jaskier.

-

“So...how did you do it?”

“Mostly poison, slicing people’s throats while they were distracted, light stabbing in the chest, setting traps, singing them to death…”

“What?”

“Well, I still am a bard, Geralt. I studied the arts for a reason! No way was I going to major in mathematics like some loser! Also, my vocal range is immense.”

“Hm.”

Geralt was just dying here. He could sing people to death? What the fuck!

Jaskier could survive anything! And he could just use his mouth to take someone apart. Geralt had wished Jaskier would use his mouth more often to take him apart, but he tucks his horny thoughts away for another time. Now was the time for more secrets.

“How often did you do these missions?”

“Whenever a king summoned me. I used to be a court jester as the disguise for my actual job as bodyguard of the king. He was a little boy. Many people hated the poor kid. I felt bad. So it was quite a shame when I found out that his uncle had planned to kill him, so I had to merk the uncle, then push him off of a bridge and pretend that he had killed himself.”

Geralt was silent.

Jaskier continued, “Had to lie to the lad. He was about twelve when this happened. I just hope that he was okay after I murdered the nanny after she threatened me that one time. Oh well.”

And there was still silence as Geralt stared at him. 

It was dark outside. They were camping out and sitting by the fire. 

Then, Geralt finally says, “I am still in utter disbelief. These stories get more and more farfetched, Jaskier. Are you just trying to impress me? You already have, so why?”

“All of these are true. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Geralt tilted his head as he thought about it. Jaskier had never lied to him about anything. Just withheld information because he didn’t ask. 

“Hm.”

“Hm, what?”

“Would you kill someone if I was unable to or I was injured?”

“In a heartbeat.”

-

Jaskier still sings his songs about Geralt in any tavern that will take them.

As he sits in the very back corner of the tavern, watching Jaskier from afar, Geralt contemplates why Jaskier only ever sang about it. He never sang about his own adventures. If they were so interesting, why would he hide them from the world?

Following Jaskier’s encore performance of “Toss A Coin To Your Witcher” and a very long standing ovation, Geralt feels Jaskier sitting on his lap and shotgunning his drink.

“Enjoy the show?”

“It was...bearable.”

Jaskier pushed his shoulder lightly and giggled as Geralt rolled his eyes. 

“Why do you only ever sing the same songs about me? Why won’t you sing about yourself and your adventures?”

Geralt looked up at him. Jaskier put the glass down and tilted his head so that they were face to face, extremely close. Geralt would kiss him if he hadn’t been waiting for an answer. 

“It’s not as interesting as singing about yourself. You’re my muse,” Jaskier whispers, looking Geralt up and down. 

“Oh.”

Jaskier grinned as Geralt stared back at him, not knowing what to say. Then, he gets off of him and takes his hand as they head to their room in the inn.

When they close the door, Geralt feels like this is too good to be true: everything from Jaskier being so close to him to the day going so well. Maybe he was expecting himself to wake up by now or realize that he had been cursed and duped into believing that his desires were coming true. But he is still conscious as he and Jaskier get into bed. Jaskier frowns as he snaps his fingers in front of his face and puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“Geralt. Are you all right?”

He was just thinking. Geralt tended to get lost in his thoughts since he didn’t talk so much. Jaskier was the only one who could snap him out of his reveries and contemplation. 

“Sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

“That’s risky for you, Geralt,” Jaskier snarks. Geralt just scoffs. 

“Very funny,” he says softly. “Thinking about you.”

“Well, I’m right here. You can tell me anything.”

Jaskier gets closer and taps his fingers against Geralt’s jawline, beckoning him to look back at him. Geralt always thought Jaskier had the prettiest eyes; Jaskier just told him that they were nothing compared to Geralt’s amber eyes. He was always deflecting, making everything about Geralt. Because he only had eyes for him: playing him songs, following him no matter how dangerous, worrying about him even when he was with him. 

Geralt wasn’t sure how much he was contributing to whatever you’d call this relationship. He was affectionate when they were alone and he wrote about how he felt about Jaskier in his journal, but he rarely said anything about it. He never even showed Jaskier what he had written. Because he doesn’t know what he should do and how he should do it or if he was reading too much into what Jaskier did with him. What he does know is that he experienced such a wide range of emotions when he was with Jaskier, emotions that he didn’t even think he could have. 

What could it all mean?

What was this simple feeling?

The warmth in his chest when Jaskier smiled or said his name or looked at him in that special way or how soft Jaskier’s hands and hair were and how much he kissed him.

“Geralt.”

“Jaskier.”

“What is it?”

Then, Geralt stops thinking as he pressed his forehead against Jaskier softly.

“I love you.”

And the world stops. 

Because Geralt just let himself be vulnerable. Completed soft. 

And he had admitted something he had wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he was afraid that someone else would hear him.

“Oh, Geralt. I love you so much I’d die for you….but you wouldn’t let me.”

“That’s right. But you’d definitely kill for me.”

Jaskier kissed him and Geralt melted into his touch.

Because nothing could keep them apart. 

Nothing Jaskier couldn’t stop.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @rainbowrabblerouser


End file.
